Around 2007 there was quite a bit of hubub about a book called ‘The Game’. Written by investigative reporter Neil Strauss it acts as a documentation of Strauss’ encounters in the dating/pick-up community. A book containing men’s deep and dark secrets… Even I was a little curious so I bought a copy, however, I didn’t finish it.
I’ll admit it was an interesting read, in my old blog I even vowed to try a few of the tips and guidelines amongst a group of my single friends but I couldn’t quite get past how Strauss and his buddies made women seem so… Dumb. They truly believed that a woman could be in the palm of your hands with just a few tricks and carefully placed words. For example, there were many occasions where his ‘role model’, Mystery, (I won’t even bother to speculate at the utter lameness of that name) would pick his victim, saunter towards her group of companions, dazzle them with his loud, overly extravagant outfits and jewellery and begin his little dance. First, he acknowledges her, but only for a moment, then he turns his attention to her friends, wowing them with magic tricks, and oh so witty banter. Over time, the object of his interest starts to wonder why he is not paying more attention to her and sure enough she starts to bend over backwards just to prove to him that she is in fact interesting.
After the first few instances I guess you could say I got bored, no girl wants to read story after story of how women continually drop their underwear for men who have no dress sense what so ever and use magic tricks to woo them. Seriously, this ‘Mystery’ character was described as wearing garishly colored, overly patterned silk shirts with leather trousers about two rings on each finger, his hair was long and he USED MAGIC TRICKS??!?! I cannot get over the magic…
Whilst the book in itself was very to the point about the ways in which women can be easily lead the fact that these women WERE lead was a much harder pill to swallow. However, once I had stepped away from reading the book for a while I took a deep breath and thought about it objectively.
Cavemen. Hit the woman over the head with his club, dragged her back to his cave and the procreation began, After many years this was no longer socially acceptable although I don’t think 35% of the male population got that memo. Then, men would lay their coats over puddles for ladies before asking their fathers for their hand in marriage. Eventually we ended up here. (I know I’ve skipped a few generations) Nowadays there is less directness (cavemen), less charm (gentlemen) and more uncertainty.
Now, before all you guys go thinking I’m trying to have a massive rant about the lack of gentlemen out there (which there is) in actual fact, this applies to both men and women. Women are equally as guilty of playing the game as men, sometimes they’re worse. Every girl knows playing hard to get is the best way to get what you want. And every guy knows that being hot and cold keeps a girl on her toes. What I don’t get is how bent out of shape people get when they things don’t go their way! Girls, if he flirts with someone else in front of you he’s not trying to make you jealous, he’s probably moved on already/ is in the process of lining up his next encounter. Guys, if she flirts with your friend she is trying to make you jealous. Don’t act like it doesn’t phase you, we both know it does. When a guy doesn’t text/ call/ FB message you for ages and it starts to drive you crazy sit tight, he’s waiting for you to break first, if you do he has the upper hand. To play the game you have to know the rules. “There are no rules” is a load of rubbish, the only rule is be prepared to lose. Like any game, football, tennis, cards even Jenga you are at risk of being hurt (cards: paper cuts - the worst thing known to man and Jenga: when one of those blocks fall on your knuckle it hurts like hell!) even when you play by the rules you will walk away with a cut/bruise/sore ego. Sometimes its worth it, sometimes its really not, but you won’t know unless you participate.
On a more positive note, The Game actually did help the author himself, he went from being a shy, badly dressed reporter to a real ladies man who not only looked great but felt great (if you don’t believe me Google him). The moral to his story was probably “confidence is key”… I wouldn’t actually know because I didn’t finish it but I like my little summary of it.
I would never say don’t play the game, half the fun of a relationship lies in the first few months of chasing. But don’t start something you can’t finish. Just please please PLEASE don’t fall for some lame ass dude in a silk shirt who tries to pull a coin out of your ear.
Love & Peace